Speed Eraser/Transcript
opens with the title card song, then the school bell ringing Hank: Look, everyone! The latest piece in my "Chalks of the World" set came! Check it out! The Leaning Chalk Tower of Pisa, ooh! I can't wait to use it! Suck-Up! Get up here and erase this board! pause Hey, where's Suck-Up? sting, we see Kyle's empty desk Chum Chum: gasp Kyle's not in here to erase the board! Now's our chance! Fanboy: Hmm? Chum Chum: This is what we trained for. Fanboy: I can't! I'm too nervous! wimpers Chum Chum: Just picture everyone in their underwear...on the outside of their clothes. Fanboy: grunts Uh, I can only picture you! bravely But it's enough. goes to the board and picks up both erasers. Chum Chum turns on a boombox as the lights go out and a spotlight appears on Fanboy, ready to erase Class: Ooooooh! Hank: Uh, the board is behind -- Chum Chum: Shh! Fanboy Head down. Now, look up slowly. Now, look down! Now, point to yourself. Smiling, smiling. Turn to the board. And...erasing, erasing, erasing, erasing! Shoulder, chin, shoulder, shoulder, shoulder, double eraser hands! Big smile! walks in, carrying two erasers Kyle: So sorry I'm tardy, Mr. Mufflin. The dry cleaners couldn't find your erase -- Fanboy HUH?! Chum Chum: Now, freestyle. Kyle: What is Fanboy doing erasing my blackboard? Hank: Shhhhh! Kyle: Huh? Hank: zips Kyle's lips I'm watching Genus. Chum Chum: Now, swipe. Wink. Stay dooooown. Shoulder, chin, shoulder, shoulder, shoulder, double eraser hands! Point to the audience, aaaaand bite! Class: applause Fanboy: GOOD NIGHT, MR. MUFFLIN'S CLASS! eraser into the audience Yo/Lupe/Nancy: arguing Fanboy: Thank you, thank you. I'll be erasing autographs in the hallway after class. Hank: Ho-ho-ho-ho, Purple Kid! Oh, that was the most amazing erasing I've ever seen! Ha ha ha. Kyle: What about me? Hank: Oh, thanks for reminding me. Fanboy Kyle's erasers Purple Kid, you're the new Eraser-er! Kyle: Huh? Fanboy: Oh, this is the happiest I've -- ever been -- in -- school, not including recess or lunch. a tear Kyle: Grr! But I'' am the Class Eraser-er! We had an agreement! ''erasing contract Hank: Purple Kid. Fanboy: erasing contract Huh? Kyle: No! Hank: Kyle away Come on, kid. I want you to meet some of the chalk you'll be erasing. We begin in Paris with the Chalk de Triomphe, then a stroll down the Champs-Élysées. Kyle: So! Fanboy wants my erasers, does he? Well...I'll give him one of my best. he says this, ominous music plays as the lights go out. He conjures up a strange looking eraser and laughs evilly Kyle: Oh, Fanboy! Fanboy: Yes, Kyle? Chum Chum: Hey, why is it all dark and evilly over here? Kyle: Hmm? Oh. clap, lights turn on and ominous music stops So, Fanboy. When you took my erasers -- FOR WHICH I SWEAR YOU WILL PAY! A-ha, I mean -- w-w-when -- when I gave you my erasers, heh, I forgot to give you one, the best one of all! the magic eraser Chum Chum: Ooh, fancy. Fanboy: It's calling my name. Eraser: Yobnaf. Yobnaf. Yobnaf. claws Fanboy: Backwards, but it's my name! Kyle: Why don't you take it for a spin? Fanboy: Don't mind if I do! takes the eraser and Kyle stares mischievously as the eraser drags Fanboy to the board Fanboy: Who-oah! Whoo, whoa. Somebody likes to take charge. Mm-hmm. chuckles eraser glows and drags Fanboy all over the board, literally erasing it which makes a gaping hole in the wall Fanboy: Huh? Class: gasp Hank: Purple Kid, what have you done?!? Kyle: Yes, Fanboy. What have you done? laughter Hank: You freed us all! Kyle: laughing Wha...? Hank: If there's no blackboard, I don't have to teach! Well, what's everyone waiting for?! CLASS DISMISSED! cheers and follows Fanboy through the hole in the wall. Kyle just stared deadpanned Fanboy: Come on, everybody! Let's paint this town blank! the Frosty Mart... Fanboy: Who wants Frosty Fr-eezy Freeze? OR should I say: Frosty Freezy Free? the "ZE" in "freeze" Class: cheering Fankylechum: wimpering I cannot open this. Fanboy: the top of Fankylechum's peanut bag There you go! Benjamin: grunting I can't reach! Fanboy: Hmm. the bottom portion of the shelf Ta-da! Now you can! Benjamin: a licorice Yay! Hank: humming presses the register. "$1000.09" appears on the screen Hank: empty wallet Aw, I'm a thousand bucks short. Fanboy: Or, are you? and erases the "1000" on the screen, making it say "09" Hank: Whoo-hoo! Uh, can you spot me nine cents? Fanboy: Hey, Chum Chum, how'd you like to have the high score on Chimp Chomp? Chum Chum: That would be awesome! But we'll never beat Boog's high scores. Fanboy: We won't have to. the high score table on the machine and giggles can sense this miles away Boog: AAAHHH! I feel a great disturbance, like a million points cried out...and were suddenly silenced. to the Frosty Mart WHO ERASED MY HIGH SCORES?!? GRRRR! F&C YOU! Fanboy and Chum Chum: Dah! Boog: I'M GONNA BOP YOU INTO DOWNTOWN PAINBURG! Chum Chum: We gotta get out of here! I owe late fees at the Painburg Library! Fanboy: Don't sweat it, Chum. I got this. charges toward F&C like a bull Fanboy: Uh? a hole in the floor Boog: into hole and screams How deep is this hole, anywayyyy? bottom Oof! That deep. Chum Chum: That. Was. Awesome. Hank: Hooray for the Purple Kid! Class: Fanboy! Fanboy! Fanboy! Fanboy! Fanboy! has been seeing all this Kyle: Uuuuugh! He's destroying everything in town, and they praise him for it. Well, I know how to erase that smile off his face. disappears the park... Hank: Hip, hip... Class: Erase! Hank: Hip, hip... Class: Erase! tornado appears, scaring off everyone. F&C just stay where they are. The tornado turns into Kyle as a giant Fanboy: Oh, it's just Kyle. Chum Chum: Hey, Kyle! shrinks back to normal size Fanboy: Thanks again for the eraser. It really complements my destructive nature. Kyle: Well, Fanboy, since you're so attached to your eraser, wand let's see what happens when it's attached to you! laughs evily and zaps the eraser, making it's claws regenerate and close on Fanboy's hand, locking it in place Fanboy: WHA!!! Chum Chum: WHA!!! Fanboy: WHA!!! Chum Chum: WHA!!! Fanboy: WHA!!! Chum Chum: WHA!!! Fanboy: WHA!!! Chum Chum: WHA!!! Fanboy: WHA!!! Chum Chum: WHA!!! Turtle: Whoa-ho! Fanboy: THAT REALLY HURTS A LOOOOT-AH!!! Oh, just went numb. Whew, I'm good. Thanks, Kyle! Kyle: Don't thank me yet, Fanboy! For once you see the horror that awaits you, you will rue the day, that you ever usurped my rightful place, as KING, OF THE CHALKBOARD!!! floats down to F&C and produces a thought bubble Kyle: a spooky tone of voice Every time you reach for a toy, a menacing voice it will be erased. voice Every time you try to slurp a Frosty Freezy Freeze, voice it will be erased. voice And every time you reach for the remote, voice it will be...ERASED. Fanboy: pants You mean we'll be forced to watch commercials?!? NO! Chum faints next to him THAT'S THE WORST THING POSSIBLE! Kyle: Well, there is the small matter of toilet paper. thought bubble shows Fanboy erasing the toilet paper Fanboy: AAAAHHHHH!!! thought bubble and limps toward Kyle KYLE, YOU GOTTA HELP ME! Kyle: No, no, stay away, stay away! Fanboy: KYLE, PLEEEEASE, PLEEEEEASE!!!! Kyle: Stay away from me! Fanboy: Hey, why am I having such a hard time holding onto you? Kyle: antagonism replaced with shock What? What is it? Why are you looking at me like that? Fanboy: Eh-ha-ha-ha-ha. out to show Kyle bodyless, Fanboy erased his body Fanboy: Kyle...I have some bad news....you might wanna sit down. Actually, scratch that. Kyle: Huh? Ah! ground Oof. Fanboy: Here, let me help you up. Kyle: Noooo! Now listen carefully...I need you to hand me my wand. Fanboy: Huh? with eraser hand Kyle: No, no, no! On second thought, just have Chum Chum do it. Fanboy: No, no! I got you into this mess, Kyle! And I'll get you out of it. with eraser hand Kyle: No, no, no, no! No, no, no, no, no, no. Use your left hand. constantly reaches with the eraser hand Fanboy: Huh? Kyle: Other left. Fanboy: Huh? Kyle: Other left. Fanboy: Hmm? Kyle: OTHER LEFT! THE HAND WITHOUT THE CURSED ERASER! Fanboy: Ah! Kyle: Noooo! Fanboy: Stop yelling at meeee-a! When you yell, I get flustered! Uhhhh! Kyle: Sorry! Heh heh. I'm not angry! It's just that we have one shot to get this right, heh. Only one chance for you to get my wand with your left hand and allow me to reverse this horrible curse! all his strength, Fanboy reaches for Kyle's wand without the eraser, resisting it. He grabs it at last Kyle: Oh, thank goodness. Now quickly, place it in my mouth. Ahhh... Fanboy: Ooh, this wand is filthy, Kyle! Let me just give it a quick scrub. wand with eraser, which erases it Kyle: NOOOO!!! '''AHHHHHHHHH!!!' Okay, okay, okay. Not to worry! I happen to have a spare wand right over... ''gasps Fanboy: erases Kyle's spare wand Uh...this one was dirty, too? Kyle: sobs Chum Chum: Don't worry, Kyle! We'll fix you! Kyle: Really? Fanboy: Cross my heart. Now, let's just wipe away those tears... Kyle: No, no, no, just fix me. at the school... Fanboy: Almost done...aaaaand...there! Good as new! out to show Kyle on the blackboard with a strange animal body drawn on him Kyle: What have you done to me? Fanboy: Uh, just gave you back your body? With a few modifications. Chum Chum: I forget, Kyle. Were you half-horse or half-robot horse? Kyle: Neither! I demand you erase me and start over at once! Fanboy: That's the best part, it's permanent marker! You can never be erased again! Chum Chum: Now, hold still. drawing You don't want your elephant trunk to come out crooked. Kyle: But I don't want an elephant -- trumpets Category:Transcripts